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Monday, April 16, 2007

FUNNY DEFINITIONS

FUNNY DEFINITIONS

1.
Cigarette:A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2.
Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3.
Marriage:It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4.
Divorce: Future tense of marriage

5.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6.Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


7.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power...

9.
Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11.
Ecstasy:A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12.
Classic:books which people praise, but do not read.

13.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17.Committee:Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

19.
Atom Bomb:An invention to end all inventions.

20.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21.
Diplomat:A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22.
Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23.
Optimist:A person who while falling from EiffelTower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24.
Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY

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