Grandma's idea and more

A grandson came to visit his grandparents & noticed his grandfather
sitting on the porch, in the rocker, wearing only a shirt, naked from the
waist down.

"Grandpa, whatcha' doing? You're weenie's out in the wind for all to see!"
he exclaimed.

Grandpa looked off in the distance, not answering.

"Grandpa, whatcha' doin' sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?"
he asked again.

Grandpa looked at him and said, "Last week I sat here with no shirt on
and got a stiff neck. This is grandma's idea."


==============================================================

There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He
was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of
years.

Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center.
These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on,
he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to
ask her, "Will you marry me?"

After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered. "Yes. Yes,
I will."

The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their
respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she
say 'no'?" He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall.
Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called
her.

First, he explained to her that he didn't remember as well as he used to.
Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he
then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes'
or did you say 'No'?"

He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I
meant it with all my heart." Then she continued, "And I am so glad that you
called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."