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Monday, April 16, 2007

FUNNY DEFINITIONS

FUNNY DEFINITIONS

1.
Cigarette:A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2.
Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3.
Marriage:It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4.
Divorce: Future tense of marriage

5.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6.Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


7.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power...

9.
Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11.
Ecstasy:A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12.
Classic:books which people praise, but do not read.

13.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17.Committee:Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

19.
Atom Bomb:An invention to end all inventions.

20.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21.
Diplomat:A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22.
Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23.
Optimist:A person who while falling from EiffelTower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24.
Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY

Thursday, April 12, 2007

The Pittance Our Cricketers Will Receive Now Onwards...!!!

The new system of payments formulated by the Board for Control of Cricket in India for members of the Indian team has three components, and includes performance-linked clauses. The details, as revealed to Cricinfo by Ratnakar Shetty, the BCCI's chief administrative officer, add up to a significant increase for a winning team.
  • The basic match fee will be the same for all: Rs 100,000 (US$ 2332) for each one-day international, Rs 200,000 for each Test.
There will also be individual results-based incentives for players:
  • For ODIs, both home and away, each member of the playing eleven will receive Rs 300,000 for each match won; reserves will get 50% of that.
  • For Test matches at home, the payment will be Rs 500,000 per win per player and Rs 300,000 each for a draw.
  • Away Tests will fetch each player Rs 600,000 for a win and Rs 400,000 for a draw. Again, reserves will get 50% of these figures in each case.
There will also be team bonuses linked to results.
  • For one-day matches, the squad will receive Rs 5,000,000 for each series won in India and Rs 7,500,000 for each series won abroad.
  • Winning a Test series will fetch the squad Rs 15,000,000 (US$ 349,882).
There will also be a flat, common retainer fee, Shetty said, to replace the graded system of contracts. However, the board has not yet decided on the quantum of that fee.