Iframe

Thursday, December 07, 2006

How to Evaluate Yourself !!!!!

If you are a hard worker but not well organized, show your hard work while forcing yourself to become organized in certain areas.

You can assess yourself in these categories:

Ambition - Do you have goals and do you have a plan to reach those?

Confidence - Do you know the quality of your work? Do you have the skills now or the capability to achieve them?

Organization - Are you well organized?

Energy - Do you have what it takes to work until the job is done?

Leadership - Can you motivate others towards a common goal?

Risk-taking - Do you know when its smart to take risks? Are you willing to step out of your comfort zone?

Humility - Are you humble enough to take blame if something goes wrong?

Answer these questions and determine some of your strengths and weaknesses.

You can also use friends, coworkers, and family to help identify your strengths and weaknesses

Dating Game !!!!!

Hey all…

The title sounds gr8 yeah…but :( I’m not here to explain or blog abt the DATING GAME, guys and gals play….

Today, Girish taught me DATING GAME with Customers and How to convert Leads into Customers.

Customers are like Guys/Gals, we must play the dating game and convert them…lets see how ?

If a prospect is expecting too much from your product, the DATE is GREEDY and wants to squeeze out …… ahem..understand…

If a prospect is not liking your product, the DATE is not attaracted to u or ur product…..

Well..some are married…they’re converted customers…….well..make sure they remain married to ur product…..
If a prospect is liking your product..he is committed to u or ur product….Now…this is committment…pick tht guy/gal and convert him……

Ain’t this game fun and also interesting…now, lemme try my hand with this game and play with it……

until then

ASTALAVISTA BABY

How to Win a Customer!

A customer is a person, organization or entity with whom one buys and/or sells, trades or exchange various products or services for a said tangible or intangible compensation for that rendered.

  • Determine who your customers are.
  • What are the requirements for your customers that you need to determine for the exchange of services and products?
  • Don’t assume that you know what they want. The customers may need less or more they you have anticipated. Constantly review with them what they want.
  • Collect customer and market knowledge on a regular basis. This will adjust your product and service delivery.
  • Acknowledge their needs and ensure that they are aware of your efforts and capabilities to satisfy their needs.
  • Listen to their needs. Don’t ever ignore them.
  • Realize that you are in business to please your customers. They pay you paycheck.
  • Never forgot that a customer is a person like yourself, with emotions, needs, desires, feelings, wants, values and norms.
  • Never divorce a customer, unless you are willing to face the consequences.
  • Constantly communicate with them via phone calls, letters
  • A customer relationship is not unlike general relationships you have with people in general. You must work on them.
  • Make your customers your friends. Ask for their advice. They will be glad to give it to you.

Now, this will surely win you customers and make new ones……..

until next time

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Deer Sir,

I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can
Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole
really seam to respond to me belly well.

I´m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru
my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to
pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. .

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.
Sinseerly,
Peggy May Starlings

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me
taken at my last jobb.









Employer's reply:......

Dear Peggy,

It's OK honey, we've got spell check.....

Welcome onboard!!!

Now this is what we call a real misfortune!!!

One morning at a doctors surgery a patient arrives complaining of
serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what
happened to your back?"

The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This
morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my
bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the
balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find
anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and
he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at
him,That's how I strained my back"

The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The
doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look
terrible.What the hell happened to you?"

He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today
was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was
running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at
the same time, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge."

The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two
patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, "What the hell
happened to youuuuuu.....?"

"Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor"

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Really wonderful ... too good!






In black you can read the word GOOD, in white the word EVIL (inside each black letter is a white letter). It's all very filosophical too, because it visualises the concept that good can't exist whithout evil (or the absence of good is evil ).




Can you see why this painting is called optical illusion ? You may not see it at first, but the white spaces read the word optical, the blue landscape reads the word illusion. See for yourself !






The word TEACH reflects as LEARN.




In brown you can read ME, and when you look through you can read YOU




Read following text aloud





The word THE is repeated twice...but did u notice???[

Sunday, May 14, 2006

if laloo were a school teacher???

Hej...
Just imagine, if laloo prasad yadav were a school teacher from Bihar getting a job in Mumbai...
but he gets two dayz late in reporting to school...So he writes a letter to principal of the school explaining him the reason of his delay....and that too in English



Deer pirincipal sur,
If ismall ismall mistakes getting inside my letter, I big you pardon, ass
I am not a good englis speaker.
This is my fist vijit to Bombai. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint
your school more fastly, but for the following region, too much time
lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. I tolded i
has headache piroblem due to migration. But still the clerk rejected to
give ticket to I and my sun. I putted a complain on station masterji. He
said I to go to the lady clerk.
At first she also rejected. I then pressed for long time and finally
with great difficulty she gave a birth to my sun. Anyway I thanked the
station master also because he was phully responsible for getting birth
of my sun.
Ass a hole it was a bhery diphicult experiment in my hole life.
I hope u will look into explain my hole story after, and late me joint
first. I am now ending this fastly. I am a waiter for your responsement.
May God blast you!

Yours awfully,
LALOO PRASAD YADAV
and bhery regards phrom
RAMKHILAVAN L. YADAV(sun)

u & ur Boss !!!!!!!!!!!

Hey guys here is the difference between you and your boss !!!!!!!!!!

When you take a long time, You're slow.
When your Boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When you r doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the samething, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's is being original.

When you please your boss,you're apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's is being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around. When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked
==================================================




ToTaL SiGnS oF fLiRtInG

*~*Guys*~*

1. She makes eye contact and smiles at you.

2. She hits you softly on the arm and laughs when you say something funny.

3. She flips her hair when she's talking to you.

4. She touches your arm when she talks to you.

5. She says, "No, I'm not telling you who I like!" with a big smile on her face

6. She asks you who you like or who you would go out with seemingly interested.

7. When you go to the movies with a bunch of your friends and she is almost always next to you.

8. She criticizes you on a girl you like.

9. You catch her staring at you.

10. She plays with your hair or tries to put make up on you.

11. Her friends outside of school and in school know about you, and says she talks about you a lot.

12. She knows your phone number and address.

13. She will try and talk, and spend time with you as much as possible


*~*Girls*~*

1. He stares at you a lot.

2. He hits you a lot. (just play hitting )

3. He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a conversation with you

4. He yelled, "Hi!", to your mom that day she picked you up from school.

5. He blew off his buds to go see "Run Away Bride" with you cuz you
couldn't get another girl pal to go and didn't want to go alone.

6. He tries to make you laugh anyway even if he gets hurt in the process

7. His voice gets softer ("Hey, you" when ever you two talk.

8. You hung up on him. He called you back.

9. You where invited by him to a group outing.

10. He called you to talk about nothing at all.

11. He imitates your laugh. OK, you do snort sometimes. Which makes you
laugh even harder.

12. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation.

13. He sometimes stares straight into your eyes.

Height of Stupidity

Q In a pond there are 10 fish, one of them dies, and the water level of the pond increases. How?




Think...........try it





No??? Cmon..






Can't answer..........scroll down
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


A The other 9 fish are crying.................


************************************************** ****


A women goes in an Auto (rickshaw) and gets bald??? How???


Lets C' if you can solve this one.......


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Can't think...c'mon...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Here goes the answer...
.
.
.
.
.
Automatically ( AutoMeinTakli).....


************************************************** ****


Once 5 CHIPKALIs (house lizards) : Phulwa, RaamPyaari, RaamDulari,RaamPuri and RaamChuri were crawling on the wall when all of a sudden, Phulwa started to sing a song. The moment Phulwa stopped singing the song, RaamPyaari, RaamDulari, RaamPuri and RaamChuri fell down from the wall !!!... WHY ???




scroll down for answer. . . . . . . . . . . .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. not getting, very simple yaar..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

coz, they all started clapping !!!!


just One More

What wud u call a Gal who never laughs....?




...and the Answer is..........
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.Scroll down.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.Just One Scroll ..
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.

.
.
.
HASINA !



************************************************** ****



Question: You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2 cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You
don't have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?






























Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the other cigarette



Another deadly answer. scroll down a little




































Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can
light the cigarette



If that was not enough, one more deadly answer....
scroll down
























Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP TIP)

"TIP TIP barsa Pani.

Pani ne aag lagayee."

us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee".



************************************************** ****

A railway station beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?











"So, which platform are you working on?"




************************************************** ****


Question: Two hairs on a bald man's head fall in love with each other and want to get married, but cannot. Why?



































































Ans: Because under Indian laws, "baal vivaah" is illegal.




*******************************************

Rare photos of Great People

THE BEST ARE AT THE LAST



Tim Berners Lee -- Founder of the World Wide Web



Picture taken when microsoft was started



Steve Woznaik(sitting) and Steve Jobs of APPLE Computers.
He was three months late in filing a name for the business because he didn't get any better name for his new company.
So one day he told to the staff: "If I'll not get better name by 5 o'clcok today, our company's name will be anything he likes..."
so at 5 o'clcok nobody comeup with better name, and he was eating APPLE that time...
so he keep the name of the company 'Apple Computers'



Bill Hewlett(L) and Dave Packard(R) of HP.
Behind them in the picture is the famous HP Garage.
Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard tossed a coin to decide whether the company they founded would be called Hewlett-Packard or Packard-Hewlett.
And the winner was NOT Bill... the winner was Dave.



Ken Thompson (L)and Dennis Ritchie(R) ,creators of UNIX.
Dennis Ritchie improved on the B programming language and called it 'New B'.
B was created by Ken Thompson as a revision of the Bon programming language (named after his wife Bonnie)
He later called it C



Larry Page(L) and Sergey Brin(R), founders of Google.
Google was originally named 'Googol'.
After founders (Stanford graduates) Sergey Brin and Larry Page presented their project to an angel investor...
they received a cheque made out to 'Google' !...
So they kept name as GOOGLE



Gordon Moore(L) and Bob Noyce(R) ,founders of Intel.
Bob Noyce and Gordon Moore wanted to name their new company 'Moore Noyce'.
But that was already trademarked by a hotel chain...
So they had to settle for an acronym of INTegrated ELectronics... INTEL



Andreas Bechtolsheim , Bill Joy, Scott Mc Nealy and Vinod Khosla of SUN(StanfordUniversity Network) MicroSystems.
Founded by four StanfordUniversity buddies.
Andreas Bechtolsheim built a microcomputer;
Vinod Khosla recruited him;
Scott McNealy to manufacture computers based on it;
and Bill Joy to develop a UNIX-based OS for the computer...
SUN is the acronym for Stanford University Network



Picture taken when INFY was started. This picture was found in the album of the clerk who took this picture...
The picture was with that clerk only because it was his birthday and he just told everyone to stand together at one place to take a pic.
He borrow a camera from his friend and as he can not tell any of his boss to take pic, so he took pic by himself... even it was his birthday.



THIS PICTURE WAS TAKEN WHEN SUPERHIT SHOLEY WAS STARTED......

Grandma's idea and more

A grandson came to visit his grandparents & noticed his grandfather
sitting on the porch, in the rocker, wearing only a shirt, naked from the
waist down.

"Grandpa, whatcha' doing? You're weenie's out in the wind for all to see!"
he exclaimed.

Grandpa looked off in the distance, not answering.

"Grandpa, whatcha' doin' sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?"
he asked again.

Grandpa looked at him and said, "Last week I sat here with no shirt on
and got a stiff neck. This is grandma's idea."


==============================================================
There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He
was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of
years.

Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center.
These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on,
he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to
ask her, "Will you marry me?"

After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered. "Yes. Yes,
I will."

The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their
respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she
say 'no'?" He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall.
Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called
her.

First, he explained to her that he didn't remember as well as he used to.
Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he
then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes'
or did you say 'No'?"

He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I
meant it with all my heart." Then she continued, "And I am so glad that you
called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."